100 DAYS of Torture, Ongoing

THE MENTALLY ILL, CRIMINALIZED

We wouldn't treat our animals this way....but we allow humans to live in torture.

Exactly one year ago, today, was the One-Hundredth day my brother had been held in solitary confinement in jail. 

Let that sink in for a moment. Seclusion in David L Moss/Tulsa County Jail, due to a delusional episode that has the District Attorney hurling eight years TO LIFE at him, even though they know he’s one of Oklahoma’s most serious “mental” “cases”. (I separate the “words” in quotes, deliberately.) The court system in Tulsa has known him for over a quarter century. But, in the non-progressive - and in this case assbackward state that Jeff lives in, where I grew up, where my first child was born, and where my whole family still lives… Oklahoma just gets it dead wrong. 

Don’t misunderstand…I LOVE Oklahoma. But my beloved home state is a massive disappointment on this. Jeff has had serious “mental” problems so long, and his life has taxed the system (and our family) all these decades, yet the Oklahoma “justice” system allows and even exacerbates fear instead of having compassion for these tragic and suffering souls. The system jumps to an assumption of guilty before due process. It goes for the jugular of punish instead of taking real and thoughtful care of those that suffer in this way. Indeed, I’m the first one to brag that Oklahoma has the nicest people on earth. I truly believe this, and am proud of having been brought up here. But on this issue, sadly, Oklahoma wears the “we’re trying to help” proudly on it’s sleeve, but in Jeff’s case, that has amounted to a human disaster. Inhumane, i.e., lacking humanity. Makes me spit fire!

This is a LIFE we’re talking about, people. By not listening to this family for decades – for example: on possible medical illnesses that manifest in psychiatric symptoms, Oklahoma is not nice. Nope. Oklahoma is not nice when it assumes that medicine is the answer for Jeff, even when I have audio-recordings from hospital stays that prove the opposite. The current array of medicines aren’t solving anything for him. Au contraire. It makes him worse - or just tranquilized. (That's another story.) 

God bless Oklahoma, still “trying”… Around the time of this in 2016, the Oklahoma legislature was passing laws that will force MORE medication. That will help some, and good for them, but it won’t help all. It will make some, worse. Does no one care about those the MEDS MAKE WORSE?!  Not smart. These injectable chemicals have been forcibly stuck in my brother’s arms ongoing, month after month, year after year, and he has been thrown in countless hospitals at an exorbitant cost to the taxpayers. He is “costing” into the millions of dollars for this “treatment" after all these years. And no one can pay all this. Those facilities send bills, but end up eating it. To improve this financial debacle, we have suggestions coming down the pike that will save the state more than half of the costs for such serious “chronic” cases. And FYI, Jeff’s life is worse than you are imagining. It’s worse than anyone I have ever heard of. You have no idea. He is a walking miracle at this point. WE HAVE TRIED EVERYTHING.  

Tulsa County Jail opened a whole new “wing” for the high numbers of “mental” “inmates” earlier this year.  The high numbers of incarecerated mentally ill is a complicated and desperate issue. If you hear nothing of what I’m saying, hear this: THE JAILS SHOULD NOT BE THE HOSPITALS. Again, our family has learned of appropriate “care” that saves states (like Wyoming, for instance) a ton of money on cases like these, by contracting with some private mental facilities. Let that sink in:  Wyoming CONTRACTS with a private hospital in another state. Smart, outside the box, problem solving. Oklahoma can and should model this. I will be researching deets. We all know, money talks. Info we have discovered will save Oklahoma a ton of money...this family is on it. Will the powers that be, listen for a change? We will see. But heed;  A big lens will be pointed toward this issue, because folks are taking notice, and it’s about time. How things proceed will be broadcast and exposed. The fact that my dear brother wasn’t even allowed a book or magazine in his cell during his solitary confinement, and for the first weeks he didn’t have a sink, then his sink only had hot water. Inexcusable. Non reforming. Anyone in these inhumane conditions would lose sanity. And if you don’t think so, I’d like to see YOU try it. 

Jeff’s never owned a car or a home. He can’t hold a job, even though he wants to. He was taking classes at Tulsa Community College maybe ten years ago, on the honor list. Ironically, he’s too smart to be “labeled” disabled to get all the government benefits that would offer. Oh no. He’s just “mentally” disabled, so he’s a pauper. Jeff’s had twenty “addresses” in the past three years, due to losing subsidized housing when he’s inpatient or jailed over 30 days a shot. Lather, rinse, repeat. He’s never going to have children, which grieves him. The potential lost is beyond measure… His story is being, and will be, told…in many forms. We will honor him and his tortured life will have meaning, mark my words. He has been damaged by a well-intentioned, broken, overwrought, and downright mean system. Take my sister’s experience visiting Jeff in jail on day 99... She cried for twenty minutes in her car after leaving. And leaving him there is hard. She said he was behind a partition, in a separated/safe space to talk through, yet they still had him chained to a wall like an animal. We treat our animals better!  Don't get me started!  He has been forced to live under hellish conditions due to a childhood riddled with trauma, bullying, bad nutrition/sugars, a single-parent home, possible brain damage having been hit by a car as a kid, attacked by a german shepherd, allergic and in ER after wasp stings, etc. The list goes on. But no. The current system administers one chemical, then the next, then the next, to his BRAIN, without regard to proper titration as deemed direly necessary by the PDR. That’s Med-Mal but so far, no lawyer will hear us. We’re working on that, too. Yet they've never literally LOOKED at his brain with an MRI.  And mom has requested it. 

Climbing this mountain is daunting, but if we don’t do it, who will? The system has never even offered Jeff the simple saliva test that would tell what medicines this individual DNA can tolerate. No. They never even offered him basic therapy/counseling for the first fifteen years. So many things completely wrong, here. If anything is criminal, it’s the system. Not my brother. They have failed him Every. Step. Of. The. Way. 

God bless him. It SUCKS.

Jeff probably won’t live to be an old man. He is older than his years. Yet he still has the prettiest blue eyes. His teeth were that of toothpaste commercials; perfect without braces, white, never a cavity until his homelessness was in full swing. His hair is full and gray, now. He still has glimpses of the beautiful and most kind and generous heart. He’s still in there. Our dear mother speaks to him every day, multiple times. She has been his lifeline, his rock. But evenso, less than ten years ago, after being forced a certain RX, he mostly believes she is not his real mother, but an imposter. He gets angry that we, his family, are pretending to be the family that he misses, but that he believes were murdered. You cannot imagine. Delusions are absolutely real to the person suffering them. And caring for someone with delusions is next to impossible, at times. But mom has been doing it for decades. She has suffered along with him. Again, another harrowing story. It’s her son, her only son. Every mother with love in her heart understands… She will never give up on her son. She does all she can, but she is crumbling under the stress and grief, and the pressure of time running out to actually HELP him is closing in.

This is my blood brother. I love him without condition. He is not a “brother” by faith, or in a club, or with a badge. We have the same two parents. Yet, we’ve lived completely different lives. I have some survivor guilt, but that’s for another day.

Our goal is to change the failing system. In concert, it would help hundreds and even thousands of others, a real paradigm shift. We pray that it’s not too late to help our Jeff. We love him. He suffers and still walks on. His feet have taken him millions of steps…but he is wearing out. The system has broken him, but he still tries his best. Many times he has given someone freezing, the coat he just got. He feels bad for the other guy, more than himself. This is his nature. And yes, a delusion can make him “scary”. I get that. Truly, it’s hard to deal with him, at times. But that voice in his head (that only started “speaking” to him in recent years…again a residual of cramming brain-altering chemical concoctions in his sensitive body, over and over and over again. Yeah, hard to deal with him, but imagine BEING him. You couldn’t do it. No one would choose to live a delusional life.

This sister is pissed. This family is in mourning for someone that’s still alive. It’s time the system learns that the word “justice” isn’t always synonymous with punishment. In Jeff's case JUSTICE would be the opposite of punishment.  Jeff needs appropriate care, not the current medical model "treatment" they keep forcing on him, repeatedly hoping for a good/better/different result.  We all know that's the definition of insanity, itself!  ENOUGH!  

A new approach would unburden a state that is strapped for cash, overrun with statistically high numbers of “mentally ill”. It would ease agencies like police, that have enough to do, without having to be psych-nazis. Jeff’s finger and elbow are permanently crooked due to being manhandled during a delusion, usually after forced medicating him. Many brawls, because he has persecutory thoughts. But then again, he has been chased with dogs, and raped in jail. Hard to read this? Yea, our mom hates reading it, too, so get a grip. This is Jeff’s reality. His body and brain are broken. But with the right kind of care, he wouldn’t be such a “burden” to you, Oklahoma. Tulsa, and every other city that he’s been criminalized in. He is NOT a criminal. 

We need a new kind of hospital. This is our end game.  I still have hope in my heart that this system that has been a monster in Jeff’s life, will change, soften…when shown a better, more compassionate, more economical, and just plain nicer, way. We owe it to the taxpayers, to our sense of dignity as a state, and to the citizens like my brother that are enduring being treated inhumanely. 

We have to do better. Come on, America. Is this how you treat the least among you? Really? I know…it’s certainly not just Oklahoma. 

So much more to this story. Keep an eye out. It’s going to go public in big ways. If you agree that in this great country no one should be in seclusion, especially not for 100+ days, and most especially when they are in a vulnerable, disabled, state…then don’t be silent. Keep in touch. We need your voice. It’s time. A hundred days and counting. - ONE YEAR AGO TODAY.  

UPDATE:  Progress is happening.  World renowned experts are on board, and in agreement.  HOPE IS ALIVE.  Get on board...

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