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| Jeff & Jackie 2012 |
New policy for mental pods at Tulsa jail.
NO SIBLINGS ALLOWED TO VISIT
(my FB post 11/14/17)
We were shocked to learn this when
filling out the application to visit Jeff at the DLMCJC, shiny new mental pods.
New rules: No sibling option.
Spouse, parent, child, legal guardian, or visitor assistant, only.
The Sheriff's Department runs the jail. Last week I filed an appeal with the jail administrator in hopes of visiting my dear brother when I came to Oklahoma for Thanksgiving.
My information is already in the jail computers because I visited Jeff in 2016 when they had him in solitary confinement for months prior to sending him to Vinita. That was before the highly anticipated mental wing opened. So, I can officially compare BP/AP: "Before Pods" / "After Pods"
I'm beginning to see my long-term thoughts and social media outreach, working. When I write honest, hard-truth posts, people DO read them! Out of the blue, real movers and shakers see how egregious things are, how futile efforts on behalf of Jeff have been - until the power of the www gave our voice wings.
I was contacted early this week by a Tulsa Mental Health professional, who told me that another Tulsan that can affect change asked her to check into the "no sibling" policy at the jail after seeing my blast. (YES!!!!) This person wanted to know the status of my appeal. So, I immediately reached out to the Sheriff's Department again, and after several phone calls, later that day my appeal to visit was approved by the assistant jail administrator as a "one time only exception." It is a family holiday, after all. These suffering souls NEED FAMILY SUPPORT. Why on earth - no, WHO on earth thinks it's a good idea to deprive the criminalized mentally ill of whatever support they have? I've been told most families in situations like ours write off their loved ones. It's just TOO HARD. But we haven't, and we won't. It's the system that's putting up road blocks, as always.
So yes, I did get to visit Jeff today. And TRULY - I. Am. Grateful. On behalf of our mother, our father, our family, we GIVE THANKS that Jeff was allowed an extra visitor on this Thanksgiving weekend. How big of them to approve my appeal. #SarcasmDetected Offended? So are we. To be clear, Jeff NEEDS visitors. He sits alone in a cell, in pain from a broken body and spirit, in that fancy new "wing." Still essentially in solitary.
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| 11/1/17 improvement from 15 min. max to 30 min. |
It's well documented that his 2016 confinement in DLMCJC Tulsa County Jail was horrendous, and yet after cold-turkey rebound withdrawal from the contra-indicated neuroleptic/anti-psychotic RX he had been repeatedly force injected (that made him worse!) - after 111 days detoxing, his mind was more clear than it had been in years. He knew we were his family. His eyes weren't "wild." We felt like Jeff was coming back...and then, the "justice system" sent him to Oklahoma Forensic Center at Vinita and the same willy-nilly "which-drug-will-they-TRY-on-Jeff-THIS-week" resumed...and he got worse. And worse. And WORSE. He was held in Vinita as incompetent from November 14, 2016 until October 26, 2017. Then, miraculously, they suddenly deemed Jeff competent to stand trial, ironically on the very day our family emailed some attorneys telling them how Jeff was progressively getting more delusional. Poof! Like magic! He's ready. Really? This sudden competency declaration was an utter SHOCK. Yet it shouldn't have been, because it's the same as every other facility; they run out of treatment options for Jeff (under their "medical model"), and when nothing works, they push him out to a worse fate. Get rid of him. Dub him "well" with "no signs of mental illness" (lies) to get him out of their hair. We've seen this time and time again. The newest competency evaluation is ridiculous.
Next week, Jeff has another competency hearing in Tulsa. We'll see how that goes... In the mean time, today's visit was not better at the fancy $16M mental pods. I could barely hear Jeff talking through the glass. Oh wait...sorry. I stand corrected: It WAS better! At least he wasn't CHAINED to the wall, as he has been, previously. Should I say kudos? No way. My brother needs visitors, not chains. He needs CARE, COMPASSION, COUNSELING, appropriate NUTRITION, THERAPIES (music, pet, art, relaxation, exercise, etc). An holistic, functional, find/cure the root cause, approach.
The way they TREAT those like my brother needs an overhaul. A 180° revamp for the most serious cases. When something isn't working, WHY DO YOU KEEP DOING THE SAME THING? Mental illness statistics are rising. Chemical imbalance is a bill of goods sold to the public. https://www.scientificamerican.com/article/is-depression-just-bad-chemistry/ It is unproven and unethical.
Are we good people?
If so, then we are good people wearing blinders, consciously.
It's time to STOP THE MADNESS.
Jeff was not Jeff, today. He was so much worse than one year ago. He was bordering on skinny. The moment he walked into the tiny cubicle. my heart broke...again. I put the palms of my hands and my forehead against the thick wall of glass between us to reach out to him. He put his hands together and bowed to acknowledge my affection. When he sat down, I smiled and told him, "you're so thin." He nodded. I said, you're such a good looking guy, Jeff." (true) He received it in silence and with sad eyes. I told him he has the most beautiful blue eyes. They are bright blue. I wanted to "touch" him, somehow. These greeting moments have seared my brain.
The Detention Officers in the pods haven't granted him a haircut nor a shave since arriving at DLMCJC on October 26, 2017. So, his full, salt-and-pepper hair is overgrown and he has a beard. He looks like how Moses is depicted in the old Ten Commandments film, yet Jeff wasn't wearing a shepherd's robe, he was wearing an orange jumpsuit. I used to like orange :( Last week, we learned they hadn't allowed Jeff to shower in over five days, until our family made inquiries. Mom - always the amazing researcher - found the DLMCJC "Inmate Handbook" for the policy on Hygiene (pg 14, section K) http://tcso.org/forms/DLMHANDBOOK(English).pdf
Jeff was kind, yet he was delusional. He lives in constant fear that his family has been or will be murdered. A constant state of PTSD from the 29 years of trauma he has lived, nonstop. He needs gentle, kind, humble, sensitive care. Like a horse whisperer, or a Cesar Millan/dog whisperer type...but instead of pets, a HUMAN "mental illness/emotional trauma whisperer." I might have to take that on. #putitonthelist
Jeff stayed for our visit less than ten minutes. He's fraught with worry about what has or might happen to us (his family) when we visit him, there.
DLMCJC - even in the shiny pods, is a scary place. I hate that place.
Please try to imagine all this. Try to imagine how a sister feels not being allowed to visit. Do you have a sibling? Imagine it. Try to imagine how a mother feels, hearing her son, daily expressing distress and even physical pain on every morning phone call. Start YOUR day, like that. The residual effects to the family are astounding. Try to imagine being chained, alone, without...anything.
To the world, Jeff is invisible.
The world closes it's eyes to him.
Imagine if that were YOU or your child/sibling/parent/loved one...
Imagine what he gets to eat. Today for breakfast, they gave Jeff a bowl of plain cream of wheat, and tang to drink. I told him how much I like cream of wheat, and that knowing he had it makes me want to have some. We agreed it's a "comfort food." I wanted him to feel a part of something...anything. When mom visited Jeff two hours later, she asked him what he had for lunch. The answer: One hot dog and some cole slaw. At 6' tall, this is not enough food. Jeff's very thin.
During mom's visit, she asked Jeff to show her his teeth. He grew up with the most perfect teeth. No cavities, no braces, so white. Today at age 48, he's lost another tooth. There are now two missing on the upper right, and on the lower left he only has the first four, then no teeth after that. Oral health affects the entire body, but this system doesn't care. This system doesn't want to fix Jeff. This system just "bandages" his symptoms with brain chemical and tranquilizers in the name of "treatment". Don't get me started...grrr... The pharmaceutical industry is on the dole on the backs of the mentally ill, too. Every step of the way it's a racket to make money or cut costs, and the sufferers, suffer more. His teeth aren't even on the radar, but they should be.
Last year, Jeff was held in seclusion in this jail. He was allowed one visitor on most days, for longer than 30 minutes. This is a better policy than the new/current one. TODAY, he's still in a cell ALONE. But it has a glass-pane window...yippee. Jeff is chained every time he "gets" taken outside (once/day). He is chained when he is taken to use the communication kiosk (that doesn't work at least once a week.) Jeff gets "extra special" treatment, telling us on numerous occasions that every other inmate on his "level" in the mental pods get chained in the front, but JEFF GETS CHAINED BEHIND HIS BACK. (Painful, because TPD broke his arm last year during the arresting incident, then got the wrong limb x-rayed on the transport to jail. We have the records. Jeff's arm still hurts, and they chain him behind his back. They don't care. It's no wonder my sensitive brother lives in fear. Anyone would, had they lived his life, torture at every turn.
Yes, I am extremely grateful I was granted a sibling visit. Alas, I can't stop crying.
An "exception" to a bad rule does not make it good.
...One visitor per week is not good. Thirty minutes, max, is not good. A family that's trying to help a chronically "mentally ill" loved one being criminalized, should not have to jump through political and social media hoops for that suffering loved one to have Thanksgiving visitors. None of this is good.
How many breaks can one heart endure?
I'll ask our mother...she's still counting.
At the end of my visit, before Jeff left, he said he had a dream this would all be over by next September. I realize he has no way of knowing this, but what I do know for sure is, that he wants the suffering to end. We all do.
I didn't have the chance to express to him that our daughter wanted me to tell him she's sorry she couldn't visit while in Oklahoma for the holiday. I explained to her that nieces aren't allowed. Travesty. One year ago today, our entire family had a group visit with Jeff at OFC, Vinita. Sad, but better than it is now. smh
Today, as Jeff left, I watched him through the glass as long as I could see him. The heart and potential of this man is so great, but it has been thwarted by a life that was no fault of his own. He is still a gift, though...and we can all learn from him. He, and others like him, are an opportunity - especially in the holiday season - to remind us to count our blessings and realize there are chances for us to show our humanity, our compassion, our love. We just need to take action and DO SOMETHING. Just as the mental health professional did this week, reaching out to me. For this, we are very thankful.
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| My brother doesn't have $ for calls. |
Lastly, before I left, I put money on Jeff's phone call account. To use a credit card, the jail kiosk has a fee of $9.95 per transaction. To use cash, the kiosk has a $3.00 fee per transaction. But of course...there's an ATM next to it. ATM fee is $2.50. Add that to the $3 cash fee and my $40 for calls nets Jeff $37.00 and costs me $42.50. Jeff loses $5.50 on this, but I guess those fees pay for the folks manning the PODS. They told me if Jeff gets sent back to Vinita indefinitely, he loses this money. I wonder what pot this cash goes into? Follow the money is what I'm thinking...
Jackie Welton DiPillo
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