Friday, June 7, 2019

Hypothetical Poll: Mind or Body?

Serious question. 
If you had to choose to have a healthy mind or a healthy body, 
which would you choose? 




Only one or the other.  



Mind or body?   Keep it simple.  


Would anyone choose BODY over MIND?

I put this query on Facebook two years ago, today.  On that day, my brother was being criminailzed, spending months in the Oklahoma Forensic Center (OFC) in Vinita, OK, awaiting a level of "competence" to return to face trial in Tulsa.  Thankfully, we were able to save him from all that. But it wasn't easy, and it's just the beginning.

*************************



There were several reply/comments to "mind or body", including:



"... if you had a healthy body but not a healthy mind, you might be blissfully unaware that your mind was lacking. However, if you had a healthy mind but an unhealthy body, you would always be painfully aware that your body was sick. It's really a very tough decision."


To which I replied:  
 "An unhealthy mind is not bliss.  
You can't take care of your body or anything without being able to THINK.  
This is precisely why it should be obvious to some old school "minds" that torture of the brain is MUCH WORSE than torture of the body.  There is no comparison.  
Then again, I was warned that Oklahoma is medieval when it comes to mental health.
  Primitive doesn't even cover it."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


Our family was calling a long list of attorneys at that time in 2017 in an attempt to file a GTCA tort claim before the one year deadline.

The attorneys I called said they care about the mental health situation, but they're all talk.  Just being "nice."  Nice gets us NOWHERE.  Stop with the niceties and get real about this HUGE, MASSIVE PROBLEM.  We got no attorney to file the tort.  If you'd like to see it, here's the blog link: 
https://notesfromjackie.blogspot.com/2018/09/tragic-tort-enlightenment-wake-up.html
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~




Another reply: 

 "Definitely Mind. Just saying."


And another:  
It "depends what we mean by healthy or not healthy mind.  
I am used to what my mind does, and think I can handle it, but hate physical pain or sickness - do not tolerate it well."

My reply:  
"But if you couldn't use your mind to think clearly.  That's what the mind is for...to think for us."


Several replies with the one word answer:
"Mind."



A very compassionate friend typed:  

"Either way would be miserable."


I said: 


 "Yes of course, but hypothetically.  
For instance, Stephen Hawking could still use that brilliant mind and be a force in this world for the good of many, even without the use of his body."



A sweet, long time friend said this:

"Have been living in a sick body with a somewhat healthy mind. Let me say, the pain of the body can be torture on the mind. My logical choice is mind. My experience being in pain says body. Not a decision made out of vanity at all.

My reply:  

"I'm sorry you're in pain.  My mother lives with gross pain, as well.  It's horrible."

And in a separate comment, I continued: 
"If you have a sound mind you can go to school.  Own a home.  Have a job.  
Love someone and be loved.  Possibly have children.  Be a responsible citizen.  
You make choices, positive or negative, 
but at least you're thinking isn't impaired and you CAN MAKE them.  
Without a sound mind, you have none of these.  
No one [with an unsound mind] can be in a healthy relationship/marriage...
yes you can love them, but it's all ascew.  
Irrational thinking with delusions (which are real to that person) 
bring out thoughts like "you're not my real family" 
which causes exponential tragedy, heartbreak, anger, 
and [possibly] even violence due to that former "real" family being gone.  
Loss is immense in that tortured mind.  
Mocked and scoffed and abused and mistreated and looked down on at every turn.  
Not valued as a human being. 
[Those with an unsound mind] have to live on government assistance 
because they truly CANNOT hold a job, 
even though they want to work and take pride in work."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
The choice has been taken from them for no fault of their own.  
They cannot even take care of themselves 
because for whatever reason, the thinking isn't real.  
Thinking can be ruled by delusions, or a vareity of psychotic patterns.  
Paranoia, mania, hallucinations...  Constant torment that cannot be averted.


Nothing, I say NOTHING is worse than living this life.  
I choose a sound mind ANY DAY, over the physical body.  

Until you've been around it, it's difficult to imagine the layers of complex hardships, impossibilities, voids, lost potential and dreams. 
 It's a loss of life, really.  
Without a sound mind, "life" isn't even on a real plane.  
Everything is questioned, and nothing is solid.  Very sad.  

Tragedy doesn't even come close.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

A dear lady that has a loved one affected, said a heartbreaking and true statement:

"I have said many times, 
I grieve my child that is still living."


She is not alone.  


My reply:   
"My mother has said that, too.  I'm so sorry...  I do understand."



And she so kindly said:

"I understand exactly how you feel too.  I am so very very sorry."

It's a rare person that truly gets it.


I said to someone recently in a conversation,
 "People don't get it, until they get it."  
Meaning, until they are directly affected by it.  


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
This is another one of the complexities.  It's TOO DIFFICULT.  
Everyone has trying lives and troubles of their own, so who has time, energy, or enough compassion to wrap their minds around THIS gargantuan issue?  I get it.  
This is the reason I write - in an attempt to touch people's hearts with personal stories.  
It's going to take a societal mindshift to make the necessary changes.  
If even one person is moved to care and act on that care, my job here is a success.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~



I continued on the Facebook thread with these truth rants:

"Not to mention [the SMI/Seriously Mentally Ill are] thrown in jail to be raped and beaten and left alone for months simply because their mind isn't sound.  
This would never happen because someone's body isn't working 
or because of having to live in pain.  
Then there's the part about the person without sound mind being feared.  
And homeless and hungry and dirty and diseased, 
and the family can't have [this person] live with them because they're sometimes scared [of being hurt] due to delusions.  
Imagine how a mother feels if her son is not of sound mind and this has been his life.  
Yet, he is still kind enough to say "I've lived a good life" while incarcerated, because jail has been such a "normal" for him.  
GOOD GOD.  Why can't we help these people???!!!!!!!  I'm so mad."

Then things got really real. 

My post says:

"And this is truth.  I'm not afraid to say it.  
I'm jealous of all the other mind issues that garner compassion and love, 
instead of fear and punishment. 
 I'm jealous of alzheimers and autism.  I'm jealous of the developmentally disabled.  
This is how horrendous it is.  
Those HORRIBLE AND DEBILITATING DISEASES everyone has compassion, empathy and love for.  [The difference is], they don't get thrown in jail for those diseases.  
And yet...someone without a sound mind can "test" SMART, so they don't qualify for the same level of government assistance that the developmentally disabled do.  
They get NOTHING.
ONLY DISDAIN and FEAR and PRISON and NO LEGAL HELP and kicked to the curb.  
It's a harsh reality but IT IS REALITY.  
How sad is it that I'm jealous of those horrible diseases?!  
I do apologize. I realize it's offensive.  
But for my brother's sake, 
I wish he were treated with compassion and kindness and love 
and people brought casseroles and well wishes.  
But that's not the reality of serious mental illness.  
[At times] we fear it. [But most of the time, it's daily dealing with the delusions].  
We want it to go away.  FOR REAL WE DO.  
But in the mean time, how about we learn to be good people and CARE for them, 
instead of shaming them and punishing them?!
 It's hard.  But until we look at it realistically, nothing will ever get better."



Then the friend that has the mentally ill child commented again:  

"I wish I could like this a million times.  Because a million times I say yes..yes..yes..you are right.  Every bit of it right.  This breaks my heart.  All of it...then you have the looks and stares.  And goodness if they happen to talk to themself or some other odd behaviour.  The, can't you control him.  Or just the looks of fear and distain in general as though we the parents or family members in some way have caused illness."



My reply to her vulnerable and heart-wrenching comment:

"So true.  
So heartbreaking.  
Blame and shame game.  
Horrible and tragic on every level."


*************************


That was the FB post on my wall, June 7, 2017. 💔


I feel bad saying I'm jealous of those with terrible diseases.  
Please know, that comes from a place of constant trauma.  
I'm not diminshing others' pain and suffering.  
More specifically, my envy stems from THE REACTION of the world 
to those suffering from the other brain maladies.  
The way they are treated by society.  That's what I'm referring to. 
I'm only human, so please forgive me.  
 God help us, all.
***** None of these debilitating issues are choices. ***** ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


Improvements since that 2017 post:  
This family paid brave, private attorneys a boatload of money to do what should always be done: 

Defend the rights of the seriously mentally ill.  

We are proud of this effort, and grateful beyond words that we saved our loved one.  It shouldn't take six figure $$$$$$ and half a year of legal safeguarding to prevent the punishing of these disabled individuals.  The result:  All charges were dropped.  They were bogus.  The system for these indigent, suffering citizens is set up for failure, and has to change.

This is why we continue to work VERY HARD every day, to develop appropriate assistance.  The Legal nonprofit is forming, and looking strong!  Attorneys deserve to be paid for hard work. And mental health work doesn't currently generate income.  Thus, coming soon... #WJWMHLF

It's a long, slow road, and we will not stop until the future never again mirrors insane, repetitive, past practices of an antiquated, backward, punitive system.  People with Mental Disabilities should NEVER be punished for their disability.  It's beyond wrong.


For Jeff, and all the other "Jeffs" out there.

~Jackie Welton DiPillo

3 comments:

Marilyn Welton said...

This is a great blog, Jackie! Thank you! Mom

Grace said...

I’m alone facing this. Im broken. I can’t even respond because I'm so traumatized myself and abandoned by everyone. I don’t know how to overcome the trauma of seeing my son treated this way. I started out strong but I’m alone and I’ve been up against lions for my son. My own character and mental health has been assassinated in his medical records in order to get rid of me because I stopped them from killing him! After that we were both attacked by the mental health mafia- still are. And no one cares! No family member or friend. The church is the worst! I’ve stopped going. There’s much more I could say. My son has only been victimized and stripping all rights and labeled and dehumanized. I’m tired of no accountability. But I know I’m not alone. Even though the local churches have abandoned me, God has not abandoned me or my son. So somewhere in this mess I pray for healing and soundness of mind and body for us both- and I pray that we can help those who have no family or advocate. But right now I’m suffering severe depression and am almost non-functional myself. Only live to help my son because I’ve lost everything else. Even my three older children have abandoned my son and me. Wish I had some support. A friend. I am criticized, intimidated, threatened, abandoned all the while trying to keep my head above water enough so I can keep my son alive and safe as best I can. And people tell me the stupid oxygen mask reference. They do not understand. This is life and death situations constantly. I do not have the luxury of “caring for myself “ because no one will help care for my son. I can trust NO PROFESSIONAL. I know I just have to trust in God. I’m having a difficult time lately. Trying daily to get my strength and encouragement and wisdom from prayer and the scriptures. Having loving, compassionate and helpful people in my son’s and my lives sure would make a big difference. It would help if the health “care” system actually cared and stopped torturing my son. I could go on and on. I’ll stop.

Unknown said...

Jackie, It sounds as if I could really learn from you. What part of Oklahoma are you in? I would love to have a few minutes of your time. 405-760-9568